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  • I didn't write this. The Canadian-Punjab poet Rupi Kaur did, a multi-million dollar author who is celebrated for her trite poetry from Instagram -- and by "Rupi Kaur," I mean a bunch of people from YouTube comments who were touched, enough to realise that all you need to rake in the money be an internationally renowned poet are moral platitudes, being socio-ecoomically challenged on the woke totem pole, and the Enter key.

    If you're ever feeling discouraged about composing your poetry in the 2010s-2020s, just remember if Rupee Kaur can, so can you!
    ❤️🎶🖕 Never give up on your dreams, lest they remain memes memes memes! 🖕🎶❤️

    Poop

    sway your head while you talk
    stretch your vowels
    and call it poetry
    and this is how my friend
    you become poetic
    feel the words while they stretch
    straight out of your soul
    and let them sparkle in your eyes
    and this is how
    my friend
    you become artistic

    this is how my dear
    you become a human
    if she can do it
    fellow poet
    then it and I and you and he
    can do it too
    and them and they and all the rest
    will clap and cheer
    and toss you money

    I was milk and honey
    but you
    were lactose intolerant

    Roses are red
    My name is not Dave
    This poem makes no sense
    Microwave

    Original does not mean good
    Anyone can do anything

    -- Bo Burnham

    You always miss 100% of the shots
    you don't take

    -- wayne gretzky

    I told him
    let’s get this bread
    but he
    was vegan

    I was looking like a snack
    But you were on a
    diet

    is this poetry?
    yes.
    is this good poetry?
    up for debate.

    Thought you made
    me
    lose my breath
    but
    turns out
    it was
    pneumonia

    I was the person
    that was
    writing the comment
    behind the screen

    you look and you chuckle
    but soon you'll leave
    and move onto another
    c o m m e n t

    I
    Will
    Never
    Be
    Anything
    I
    Eat

    Why
    I
    Don't
    Know

    i mask my
    bad poetry
    with pretty
    "p i c t u r e s"

    you said
    you didn’t love
    me i wanted
    to believe you
    but i knew you
    was lying
    bitch ass nigga💕

    I came;
    Here.

    For the com
    Ments.

    ahh stop i could’ve
    dropped my croissant

    Mother and Father
    disappointed in my career
    why not a doctor or engineer

    Excuse
    my sandwich
    Breath

    Me reading some Milk and Honey poems to my mom
    Mom: That's it?
    Me: Yup wanna hear some more
    Mom: Nah I'm good fam

    I wanted to see
    Some poetry
    But problem was that
    She is just saying sentences
    The way we write our chats

    The sun is blue
    The beans are green
    My blood is blue too
    And your my mother

    Poop

    when she reads
    she reminds me
    of a bobble
    head dog

    or

    Stevie
    Wonder
    singing

    if beauty is enhanced by unashamed irregularities
    and magnificence by a facade of blunder

    are the spelling mistakes there to make this funnier

    I was butter chicken
    But you were Tuesday

    I take off
    my smelly trainers
    and realise
    they
    need washed
    at least no one
    smells my trainers
    when they're on
    my feet

    reading in rhythmic matter
    pop social media one liners
    of psychology for lonely girls
    and calling it poems ... no gurl

    I feel
    I do
    I think
    I poop
    I kneel
    I cry
    I pee, I hide

    -- Your Welcome

    Google can you please get rid
    of this search string from my history
    I never wanna see or hear
    this awful shit

    I wanted
    from Chick-fil-A
    a chicken biscuit
    Buttery and Flaky
    but alas
    10:31

    Heartbroken
    In the drive thru
    I weep

    So I'm guessing no one ever told her 'no'

    Her style of reciting is so pretentious
    it almost feels like she's trying to sing
    but failed a singing career

    being able to
    sell books
     to naive
    people
     is not
    a sign of a great
    poet.

    -- A Comment

    hello father
    hello mother
    these mosquitos really bother

    running hiking or tent pitching
    their not biting
    I'm not itching

    thanks for the package
    that's why im writing
    k-9 advantage stops all the biting

    stinky strawberries
    in the morning

    the scent
    is better than
    coffee
    better than
    fresh croissants
    it is the sour waking
    breath
    of my lover

    i had a dog
    you had cat
    cat is not dog
    i pee in the shower

    - Yupi Shower

    There once was a turd
    who worshipt his word
    Then the said a word
    "I love you worm"
    it got eaten by turd

    - 7 year old me

    im so fucking hungry
    but
    you
    dont
    care

    I walk to work
     Except
    For when
     I ride my bike

    i am glad i refrained
    From buying this book
    i never would have been able
    to forgive myself

    Its all shits
    And giggles
    Until someone
    Giggles
    And shits

    Indian meme.

    fuck
    this
    shit

    He called me
     milk and honey
    But I was after
     his money

    here I am listening
     To some banal
    Phrases in the
     Name of poetry
    And how do they get so much of a fame
     Because of some people whose taste is lame

    Of course she's from Ontario
    where you're now forced to say
    people's pronoun under threat
    of prosecution.

    (Hey, do I get points for pointing out systemic oppression?)

    East or west
    Poetry is the best
    Trees have nest
    Heart inside our chest
    And if you're looking for sense here
    you're looking for walls in a tent

    I wrote a poem
    It had words in it
    Because that's what poems have
    Keep reading poems

    When my
    eyes are open
    I'm not
    asleep—

    representation
    is vital
    otherwise the feces
    surrounded by urine
    unable to see itself
    will keep trying to become the pee

    When it was happening
    It felt like a switch
    Your skin made me wince
    And your hair made me itch
    You need to be different
    But you can't and it frustrates you
    Your anger fills me
    With joyous tears
    Why is it like this and why do I think
    That I'm the only one who needs me

    She feels her own words
    like I feel my dildo

    p

    oh,
    it's so cute
    and looks absolutely okay to me

    wish you luck on writing poetry

    -- yana moskaluk, illustrator + fictional character

    i was a book
    but you were
    jared, 19

    I was a book
    and you were a
    n i g g a

    my delicate pages soaked all
    nine inches
    of your black attention

    you left me on the bookshelf
    with extra pages
    white text on dark paper

    CJ San Andreas sexy time

    i went
    to the shop
    but there was
    no
    toilet paper

    Don't ever
    For any reason
    Do anything
    To anyone

    -- Michael Scott

    The world is a strange place to live in.
    All those cars.
    All going someplace.
    All carrying humans,
    which are carrying out their lives.
    Pull the string
    Pull the string!

    guys im
    creating
    poetry right now
    and i
    wont capitalize "i"
    fight
    me.

    Bread
    It’s filling
    So is air
    I need both

    I did not hit her
    it's bullshit

    I did
     not
    hit her
     I DID NOT

    oh hi mark

    -- Tommy Wiseau

    if a generation gets
    the poetry it deserves

    this is actually
    a terrifying development

    Beautiful written on obese lady.

    Holy shit you can say things and put enters on it? Who knew? Where's my fucking money?

    "Rupi Kaur's poetry won't appeal to you if you don't have empathy. It's as simple as that. Some people need details upon details to understand where somebody is coming from and what they are feeling. Her poetry makes me cry in a second. Call it simple. I feel intensely when I read it. It's so vulnerable, raw, and unapologetically.. poetic."
     -- some chick who also thinks blank canvas art is really worth millions.

    "The difference between Rupi Kaur's poetry and greatness is like Michelangelo saying 'I think men are hot' versus him actually sculpting David."